This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
