I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Randomize
