hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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