rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
