ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
