dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
