Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.

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  (614): Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash. http://tfl.nu/fkwm
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.

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  (613): So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/o5kx
  Replies (7) Good night (5374) Bad night (757)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm

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  (410): I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm http://tfl.nu/u7vv
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours

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  (419): You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours http://tfl.nu/i7uw
  Replies (2) Good night (1978) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.

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  (760): all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing. http://tfl.nu/78qs
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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  (717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"

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  (541): It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday" http://tfl.nu/cbpt
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  (559): View more from California

  Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes

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  (559): Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/dyqg
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.

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  (774): We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot. http://tfl.nu/pm9n
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  They want yo temporarily sterile ass.

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  (207): Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong. (1-207): They want yo temporarily sterile ass. http://tfl.nu/285n
  Replies (9) Good night (1356) Bad night (351)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him

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  (314): I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him http://tfl.nu/o7zk
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  (406): View more from Montana

  the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here

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  (406): the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here http://tfl.nu/np6z
  Replies (5) Good night (1711) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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  (914): So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank. http://tfl.nu/0iga
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.

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  (406): We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors. http://tfl.nu/7kjk
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.

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  (601): At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by. http://tfl.nu/1wlf
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