Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.