I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.