Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them

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  (617): were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them http://tfl.nu/uwjn
  Replies (56) Good night (4894) Bad night (645)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!

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  (816): YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!! http://tfl.nu/o3fb
  Replies (29) Good night (832) Bad night (4866)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.

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  (709): took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable. http://tfl.nu/b0tu
  Replies (18) Good night (821) Bad night (3108)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.

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  (317): im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like. http://tfl.nu/djvv
  Replies (21) Good night (1192) Bad night (5469)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  my professor just said "the power of the situation"

  (216): View more from Ohio

  drink

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  (574): my professor just said "the power of the situation" (216): drink http://tfl.nu/g82n
  Replies (17) Good night (5200) Bad night (769)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?

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  (919): Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"? http://tfl.nu/qjxq
  Replies (7) Good night (4264) Bad night (1061)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy

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  (443): shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy http://tfl.nu/uhwk
  Replies (13) Good night (3588) Bad night (1025)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.

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  (518): Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew. http://tfl.nu/8r8n
  Replies (31) Good night (3557) Bad night (1343)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms

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  (248): Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms http://tfl.nu/jxub
  Replies (4) Good night (3364) Bad night (770)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.

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  (828): I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water. http://tfl.nu/12pc
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (542)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away

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  (708): I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away http://tfl.nu/ohfx
  Replies (5) Good night (931) Bad night (463)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed

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  (717): if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen? (484): i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed http://tfl.nu/7o4k
  Replies (7) Good night (1048) Bad night (379)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states

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  (860): I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states http://tfl.nu/e5c2
  Replies (0) Good night (673) Bad night (349)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?

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  (905): So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night? http://tfl.nu/yq72
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (177)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.

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  (202): My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream. http://tfl.nu/02rn
  Replies (9) Good night (1042) Bad night (153)

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