ADVERTISEMENT

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  You don't understand. I'm not like you.

  Fav 25 2699 914

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.

  Fav 22 3275 1047

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (662): View more from Mississippi

  They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.

  Fav 70 10771 1645

  share tweet
  

• (786): View more from Florida

  I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

  Fav 58 1516 7573

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

  Fav 14 1101 7146

  share tweet
  

• (240): View more from Maryland

  He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?

  Fav 48 4496 1758

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (931): View more from Tennessee

  On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!

  Fav 2 2250 1101

  share tweet
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.

  Fav 10 1827 732

  share tweet
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.

  Fav 8 1924 727

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

  Fav 18 1473 664

  share tweet
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Not my cup of tea

  Fav 5 1787 1108

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,

  Fav 0 1022 527

  share tweet
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!

  Fav 5 955 706

  share tweet
  

• (420): View more from

  Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.

  Fav 0 252 140

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (858): View more from California

  - I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.

  Fav 1 48 13

  share tweet
  

Randomize