Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.

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(716): View more from New York

since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?

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(480): View more from Arizona

He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again

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(940): View more from Texas

he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(216): View more from Ohio

5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes

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(248): View more from Michigan

PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...

(614): View more from Ohio

Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine

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(248): View more from Michigan

Starting this Monday as I always do

(248): View more from Michigan

With a desperate plea for help

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(706): View more from Georgia

I am NOT pregnant

(706): View more from Georgia

My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want

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