two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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