What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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