did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza