Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)

  (214): View more from Texas

  Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.

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  (281): ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one) (214): Your grandmother is in heaven weeping. http://tfl.nu/odlj
  Replies (15) Good night (2492) Bad night (951)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.

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  (503): He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat (1-503): Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby. http://tfl.nu/xtdn
  Replies (68) Good night (4055) Bad night (1103)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks

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  (303): Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks http://tfl.nu/eae4
  Replies (34) Good night (1035) Bad night (3088)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope

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  (412): basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope http://tfl.nu/brdy
  Replies (28) Good night (1199) Bad night (4626)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.

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  (317): I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting. http://tfl.nu/kkkr
  Replies (25) Good night (3709) Bad night (2804)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.

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  (315): i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over. http://tfl.nu/n0ys
  Replies (15) Good night (8567) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.

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  (512): There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex. http://tfl.nu/22uc
  Replies (5) Good night (2447) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?

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  (252): she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her? http://tfl.nu/iav7
  Replies (14) Good night (5154) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.

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  (503): Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow. http://tfl.nu/26gh
  Replies (10) Good night (1694) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.

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  (608): Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple. http://tfl.nu/2rha
  Replies (10) Good night (577) Bad night (2771)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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  (612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr
  Replies (8) Good night (1470) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?

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  (651): When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon? http://tfl.nu/vd47
  Replies (5) Good night (1675) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.

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  (610): Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout. http://tfl.nu/wlac
  Replies (10) Good night (831) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.

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  (562): It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which. http://tfl.nu/ynpd
  Replies (10) Good night (1177) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.

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  (248): BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night. http://tfl.nu/rm2n
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (600)

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