THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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