The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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