maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
