She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
