and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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