another moral hangover. fuck.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
