i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
