dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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