Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
