i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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