Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
