he puts the penis in happiness.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
