Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
