So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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