is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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