omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
