Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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