I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
