it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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