6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
