I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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