its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
