Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize