So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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