honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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