If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize