I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
