If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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