Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
