what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How many fucks given?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house