I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
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Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
well, you know. whores of a feather.