I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
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My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
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Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!