NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
