Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize