please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
