Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
