so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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