Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
