I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
