did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
