we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
