i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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