is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
