I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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