my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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