The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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