if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
