Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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