Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
