she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
