Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
