Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He passed out mid-signature
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
