he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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